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Turning Point

Fudge

‘Nick, you’re quiet.’ Ellie said. Her gaze thoughtful as she watched me. Moments ago, we were fucking. Lost in our mutual respect of naked bodies and hot sweat.

I swallowed my sigh as I asked, ‘what do you want from me, Ellie?’

She has been doing this a lot recently. Asking more about me. Wanting more from me. But I was not looking for more. Permanency in a relationship was not for me. I enjoyed what we had. The occasional fuck when I was in the mood.

‘Right now. I want you to talk to me. To tell me what’s wrong,’ she said, pulling the cover up over the tits I mouth fucked earlier.

That was one of the things I enjoyed about Ellie. She had a great body, and no inhabitations in bed. ‘Fuck buddies don’t talk. They fuck. The clue’s in the label,’ I said, throwing back the covers as I climbed out of Ellie’s bed, searching for my jeans. Without looking at Ellie, I fastened them. Then hunted down my boots, which I found under the bed.

As soon as my boots were on, I looked at her. Then wished I never had. The hurt in her eyes squeezed at my heart. ‘Fuck, Ellie. How the hell did we end up like this?’ I asked, running a hand through my hair. Fucking Ellie was supposed to be complication free. What we have was supposed to be a bit of fun. A bit of adult satisfaction without the stress and tangles of emotions I did not possess or want.

‘I needed sympathy. You took it to the next level,’ she said, rolling away from me.

‘It takes two, Baby,’ I said, staring at her naked back. Then wished I had not when my cock twitched. To stop myself from giving into the temptation to touch the soft flesh, I turned to the window and stared into the darkness.

‘Go to the club, Nick. Fuck the whores, and don’t bother coming back.’

On a deep breath, I closed my eyes as I rubbed the back of my neck. ‘Fuck, Ellie, I’m sorry,’ I said, turning back to glare at the war widow. ‘It’s been one hell of a day... Shit, It’s been a hell of a couple of years. Crabby was sent down today. Now, he’s doing three to five years for self-defense. He saved a fucking girl's life. And that’s his reward. Trax has turned from a sweet boy to a cold-blooded killer. Fuck knows how many men have died in the last couple of years. And that includes brothers of Devils Comfort.’

Ellie stared at me, and that was when I realized I had said too much. This was what I hated about close relationships. The whores at the club never expected much in way of conversation. They also knew to keep their mouths shut if they overheard something. ‘What are you going to do about it?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know… Ellie.’

‘Yeah.’

‘What’s going on between you and Adam?’ Fuck, Ellie’s dating a fucking cop, and I just told her we have a killer in our club.

Ellie shrugged. ‘There’s nothing going on between Adam and me. We dated a couple of times. But nothing panned out.’

‘Did you fuck him?’

Ellie blinked as she rolled into a sitting position. ‘No, Nick. I didn’t fuck him. Not that it’s any of your business who I fuck. Unlike you, I only fuck one guy at the time. And at the moment, that guy happens to be you.’

‘You knew what you were letting yourself in for, Ellie. I never wanted or promised commitment.’

Ellie released a long breath. ‘You're right, Nick. I do know. And I deserve more than a tumble in the sheets when it suits you.’

I glared at the woman. Then shrugged. I was not a one-woman man. Something Ellie was aware of when we hooked up. ‘Fine, I’ll see you around,’ I said, slipping on my pride and joy, my Devil’s Comfort Cutt.

Ellie leant against the pillow, pulling the cover over her shoulder. ‘You know where the door is. Use it.’

Outside, the street was empty. The only light, the soft glow of the streetlamp. Usually, so as not to disturb Ellie’s neighbors, I pushed my hog to the end of the street before starting it. But not tonight. Tonight, I plan to leave Comfort Springs. To get away from Devil’s Comfort, and distance myself from Ellie.

Fuck, when the rumors, Ellie was dating Adam, reached me, a shaft of jealousy shot through me, leaving me unsure which pissed me off more. My jealousy, or that Ellie was looking around for another man. For as long as I can remember, I have been on my own. That was the way I wanted it. No commitments. No ties. That was my life. Revving the hog, I checked my wallet to see how much cash I had. A quick call to the garage to leave instructions was needed. Then I was hitting the road.

Peace, as temporary as it was, has descended over Devil’s Comfort, and I needed time away to sort myself out. There was also the matter of my lack of honesty with Ellie. This morning, I received news my father had died. Apart from one last matter, all links to my past were broken.

‘Nick,’ Ellie said.

Ellie’s soft voice brought my gaze over my shoulder to the door. The house was in darkness, and I could just make out the silhouette of her body. ‘Yeah.’

‘Take care.’

With a salute to the woman I have unwillingly come to care for, I rode off.

As the miles passed, the open roads soothed my frayed nerves. Getting out of Comfort Springs while Ellie tested her wings in the dating scene was what I needed. I doubt I could have borne to watch her date other men. Wondering if she had taken them to her bed. The irony of this was not lost on me. Ellie was right, I have carried on fucking the whores at the club. Shit, it’s only when I’m at a loose end or need someone to talk too, I fuck her.

As the miles passed, thoughts of Ellie were replaced by memories of the man who called himself my father, tormented me. The father who died in a state federal prison a quarter of a century after killing my mother. Fuck, he should have died a long time ago. He should have received the death penalty. Instead, he got life. A cold shudder ran through me. Until I moved to Comfort Springs, I had swapped one hell, for another.

When I arrived in New Orleans, I found myself in the French Quarter. Middle class suburbia. The house I once called home was now a rundown ramshackle of its former beauty. The garden overrun with weeds and barren bushes. It’s nearly twenty years since I left this hellhole. After tonight, I would not be returning. The rumble of the bike engine must have woken the occupant, because no sooner had I dismounted, than the door opened, and there stood the old witch. My Grand’Mere. My torture. The reason why ma mere was dead. And the only being I truly hated.

Ellie.

As a numbness settled over me, I waited by the gate until the bike faded from sight. My affair, or whatever you wanted to call it with Nick, was over. An affair I had drifted into after the death of my husband.

Instead of returning to the house, I strode over to the hammock on the porch and stared into the garden. When I started this affair with Nick, I knew what I was doing. I was grieving over the loss of Carl, my school hood sweetheart, my lover. The man I planned to spend the rest of my life with. I looked at the wedding ring I still had not removed and had no plans too. Apart from Amelia and Toby, it was all I had left of a part of my life which was over.

When Nick and I hooked up, I was not looking for anything. I was not looking for a new man or love in my life. But now, although I still loved Carl, my grief was coming to an end, and I wanted more. I wanted to live a little. Do the things I never did when Carl was alive. That was why I decided to date Adam.

Although he has taken me out for dinner a couple of times, we still have not been to bed. Or had sex. We have exchanged kisses. There were plenty of kisses and heavy petting. But the moment things became too intimate; I pulled back. Shit, Adam is a good-looking man. He was fun. He was happy to be seen with me in public. There was no hiding our affair.

My frown deepened as my thoughts returned to Nick. We had sex, but never dated. He never took me out to dinner. Shit, he never invited me to Devil’s Den or the club’s cookouts. A situation I had been happy with at the time. I had been contented with the role Nick played in my life. But recently that has changed. I wanted more. I wanted to be more than a secret the residents of Comfort Spring were well aware of. I glanced down the road. I was not surprised how things ended tonight.

Tonight, when Nick came over, he had been different. He had been quiet. Usually, when he dropped by, he would have a beer and engage in meaningless chat. Then we went to bed and had sex. Tonight he arrived earlier than usual, but still after the children were in bed. He watched the news. Staring at the television. I doubt he had actually watched the news while lost in his thoughts. He drank his beer. Then took me to bed, which led to sex. Yet, it felt different. As though he was not there. A shiver slithered through my body. It was over. My brief affair with Nick was over, and I wanted to cry. To cry over something which had been nothing more than a way to release the tension within me.

I was still lonely. Sure, I had Amelia and Toby, but they were not adult company. There was no adult conversations with the children. A snort slipped from me. Nick and I never talked. We were all about sex, which had been great.

After Carl’s death, I had been lonely. Nick’s casual visits had swiftly turned to sex. It started when he would drop by to check if I was okay. The first time he kissed me, I should have rebuffed him, but the loneliness had swamped me. To feel a man’s lips on me. To inhale his scent had woken my dormant sex drive. The kiss had led to sex on the living room floor one late afternoon. Afterwards, he had dressed and left without a word. Eliza, Carl’s mother, had arrived five minutes later with the children, and I was grateful he was gone. That I was dressed, and nothing was out of place. Shit, Eliza never noticed anything was amiss.

Two days later, Nick was back. The children were at school, and he was in my bed. That set the pattern. At first, he only called in the afternoon. Then he began to call late at night, leaving early in the morning before the children were up. An arrangement I had been happy with.

I glanced at the sky and shivered. I wanted more, and I was not going to get it from Nick Winchester. Our affair has been going on for nearly two years, and I know as much about him now as I did then. Very little. Until recently, it never bothered me he was fucking the whores at the club. But I was over that. I wanted commitment to me. I wanted to be more than a fuck buddy.

I rose from the swing. After two years, our affair had run its course. Carl is dead, he’s never coming back. Now it was time for me to move on with my life.

©Brair Lake August 2024

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Fudge's Sprite